Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's some mouthwash, use it maybe? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnt work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Onions think that they are ugly because you cry after you get them naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God…I could be… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You always give your best and inspire others to do likewise. That you are appreciated should come as no surprise. Your kind… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Selena:Who says you're not perfect? Miley:Nobodys Perfect! Pink: Youre F**king Perfect... Im confused, Am I perfect or not? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When Thomas Paine showed Benjamin Franklin the manuscript of The Age of Reason, Franklin advised him not to publish it, saying, ''The… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you¦ But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Blanket On - Hot Blanket Off - Cold 1 Leg Out - Perfect … Until The Demon From Paranormal Activity Grabs It… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I want to watch a TV show with my parents past my bedtime, my mom always sends me to bed no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every Christmas I only buy gifts for friends when I find out they already got me one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My parents say it's their house but when it's time to clean it magically becomes my house too - — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Opening a test paper and seeing the first question and thinking ...Yup, I'm screwed — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Romeo and Juliet killed themselves for their love, so I think you can at least answer my text message. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those memories that you randomly remember and suddenly can't stop smiling. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I sleep like a baby every night. I wake up every three or four hours and cry. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Jim Apple finds introducing himself very problematic when holidaying in France. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
