Need an excuse to end a conversation? Try this: Fuck I have to go, my goldfish is drowning — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's celebrate Columbus day by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you say Goodbye! to someone but you both walk off in the same direction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yeah it's so funny calling someone out on twitter, but you don't realize how easy words can kill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We're happy that you were able to come to the wedding despite not having time to RSVP with the self addressed, pre-paid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People told me I shouldn't take everything too seriously, and I didn't listen. Now I wish I had, because I tormented myself… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear kids on are you smarter than a 5th grader, what elementary school did you go to? Sincerely, I didn't learn that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear hoodies & sweatpants, Thank you for being there for me. Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For Grandparents Day, I'd like to take you to a nice restaurant that you can plunder for Sweet 'N Low packets. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's nothing like watching cat videos to help me pass the time until I can see my cat again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't care if I have a closet full of clothes, there's NOTHING TO WEAR! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's all fun and games until you see a picture of yourself from 6th grade. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dad, sorry the cute things I did as a kid couldn't be shamelessly exploited on YouTube or a reality show... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fact: Women suffer more migraines more men. Reason: Because we have to deal with men — Anonymous Copy Share Image
First day of school: I'm actually gonna try this year! Next week: Yeah, no. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's rejoice that the herculean task of trying to ignore Harry Potter is almost over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
YES, I'm pregnant again. YES, I know what causes it. NO I don't think I've had too many! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: I beautiful. What tense is this? Student: obviously past tense. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lol. I'm at a hotel and theres no spoons in the room, so I'm eatingnutella with a straw. -. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Graduation is when your summers of unpaid internships finally earn you a full-time unpaid internship. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God made every person different.He got tired by the time he came to China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
