Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
You're 40 and he's 22. Do you have to marry him? Couldn't you just adopt him? — Ann Dunham Copy Share Image
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it. — Walter Matthau Copy Share Image
The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Even when I begin with a situation that's basically funny or sad, I like to keep poking around in it. I like… — Paul Mazursky Copy Share Image
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. — Ralph Bus Copy Share Image
Relationships are like FAT people , sometimes they don't work out ! . Hahaha this cracks me up (: — Me Copy Share Image
Think lovingly, speak lovingly, act lovingly, and every need shall be supplied. — James Allen Copy Share Image
