Funny life Quotes

To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.

— Franklin P. Adams

Life is not a garden, don't be a hoe.

— Author Name

What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life.

— Anne Lamott

We are all here on earth to help others.

— W. H. Auden

Two wrongs don't make a right…but it does make it even.

— Anonymous

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

— Mignon McLaughlin

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

— Tracy Morgan

Life isn't a cabaret. It's a dive bar.

— Woody Paige

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

— Bill Cosby

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

— Johnny Carson

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

— Erma Bombeck

Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind.

— Rex W. Tillerson

I don't think of myself as being funny. But life takes strange turns.

— Frank Gorshin

Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk.

— Cyril Connolly

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

— Hunter S. Thompson

I need a human size condom, Because life loves to Fu(k me up in the @$$.

— Dustin Barbadillo-aton

There are no guaranties in life except for death and this: When you leave the house looking like total crap, you're going…

— Laura S

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a…

— Ron White

You know how when someone asks why your so weird you dont know what to say. Say ''Now youve got a problem…

— Baylie Benton

C'mon it can't rain forever nor can the sun shine all day, if it rains forever we would all drown and the…

— Onyeulo Amarachi

I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any…

— Thomas Jane

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And…

— W. C. Fields

I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than…

— Whoopi Goldberg

It's a funny time, but I'm sure in any time you live in, you'd consider it funny because life is change and…

— Toni Collette

Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It…

— Jennifer Aniston

I've been through alot of bad in my life but now it's just getting to the point where everything is funny to…

— Anonymous

I'm not a man who constantly thinks up jokes. But I think it's very important to be able to see the funny…

— Pope Benedict XVI

An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

— Anonymous

Adventure is nothing but a romantic name for trouble.

— Louis L'Amour

Don't take life too seriously.

— RuPaul

A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

— Christian Nestell Bovee

He has a heart of gold - only harder.

— Adolphe Menjou

Life is a near-death experience.

— George Carlin

It's funny where life can take you.

— Kathleen Kennedy

Life is a bitch, but mine is a diva.

— Anonymous

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

— Anonymous

What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.

— Robert Breault

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

— Woody Allen

If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it.

— Gurbaksh Chahal

“it's funny how life seems only to be able to give and take, instead of just give!”

— Tom Mitcheltree