All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it. — Gurbaksh Chahal Copy Share Image
I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination. — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
I need a human size condom, Because life loves to Fu(k me up in the @$$. — Dustin Barbadillo-aton Copy Share Image
I don't think of myself as being funny. But life takes strange turns. — Frank Gorshin Copy Share Image
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are no guaranties in life except for death and this: When you leave the house looking like total crap, you're going… — Laura S Copy Share Image
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any… — Thomas Jane Copy Share Image
C'mon it can't rain forever nor can the sun shine all day, if it rains forever we would all drown and the… — Onyeulo Amarachi Copy Share Image
You know how when someone asks why your so weird you dont know what to say. Say ''Now youve got a problem… — Baylie Benton Copy Share Image
It's a funny time, but I'm sure in any time you live in, you'd consider it funny because life is change and… — Toni Collette Copy Share Image
If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear… — Jim Steinman Copy Share Image
I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than… — Whoopi Goldberg Copy Share Image
Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It… — Jennifer Aniston Copy Share Image
I've been through alot of bad in my life but now it's just getting to the point where everything is funny to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a man who constantly thinks up jokes. But I think it's very important to be able to see the funny… — Pope Benedict XVI Copy Share Image
Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind. — Rex W. Tillerson Copy Share Image
The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not. — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
“it's funny how life seems only to be able to give and take, instead of just give!” — Tom Mitcheltree Copy Share Image
The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life. — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
