A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
I’ve spent too many years explaining who and what I am repeatedly, so as of this moment I officially secede from both… — Drew Hayden Taylor Copy Share Image
I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Given a little time for the pain to subside, dreadful experiences often can be the basis of funny jokes or stories. — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
Teacher: How to kill a mosquito? Student: Catch it alive, Tie its legs then make gudgudi in its stomach and when it… — Troublemaker Copy Share Image
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“Jenna is the kind of beautiful that I can get lost in. Lost from all the fucked-up-ness in my head. She’s the… — E.L. Montes Copy Share Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There was a family that had a parrot that was always embarrassing them by cussing and other stuff like that. So one… — Troublemaker Copy Share Image
The good Lord in his ultimate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable: hope, jokes, and dogs, but the greatest… — Robyn Davidson Copy Share Image
“me in bed—with a honeymoon present. Some of them were small, some were funny jokes, and some were extravagant, but every present… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
A Guy Went To a Restaurant, He Wanted To See the Menu But He Forgot What It Is Called; He Asked Waiter,… — Troublemaker Copy Share Image
Friends are like fishes. You have to sit patiently for a long time to catch a good one. Just like I caught… — Troublemaker Copy Share Image
“Seafood poisoning, a cigarette lit as the person is drifting off to sleep and that sets fire to the sheets or, worse,… — Javier Marías Copy Share Image
![“At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy]…” quote by Gabriel Iglesias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5f1/gabriel-iglesias-1974_back-and-forth_at-the-time-it-was-a-really-funny-joke-f_2164289.jpg)
