Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I don't think my memory's bad, but it's to the point now that I can hide my own Easter eggs. . . — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
The Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. The Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Please join us for Easter dinner unless you've already committed to Satan. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish I was resurrected from the dead on Sunday so I had an excuse for taking off work on Monday — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sherrill On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. — Douglas Horton Copy Share Image
A real miracle would be Jesus turning water into less expensive gasoline. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It would take a lot more than 30 pieces of silver for me to betray you to murderous authorities unless we were… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is not room for Death, Nor atom that his might could render void: Thou - Thou art Being and Breath, And… — Emily Bronte Copy Share Image
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The Pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Easter: When your parents take all the leftover Halloween candy and hide it around the house in colorful eggs. When you cant… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Earth's saddest day and gladdest day were just three days apart! — Sarah Chauncey Woolsey Copy Share Image
Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of Spring in our… — Wallace Stevens Copy Share Image
You're old enough to be told that the Easter Bunny and Jesus aren't real. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Easter is the only time of the year when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're ghetto when you only go to church on Easter to meet women. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's take a break from debating gay marriage to remember an unmarried 33-year-old man who hung out with 12 dudes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry I said TGIF on the anniversary of your god's son's violent execution. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish the resurrection of our lord and savior was deemed important enough for a day off work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well pleaseth me the sweet time of Easter. That maketh the leaf and the flower come out. — Bertran de Born Copy Share Image
Don't you hate when people only go to church on Easter Sunday dressing like peacocks taking up all the good seats. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
For I remember it is Easter morn, And life and love and peace are all new born. — Alice Freeman Palmer Copy Share Image
'Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees Filled all the air with fragrance and with joy. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Copy Share Image
Let's resume everything we gave up for Lent without any new found spiritual insights. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll wake up on Easter morning, And you'll know that he was there, When you find those choc'late bunnies, That he's hiding… — Gene Autry Copy Share Image
If not for Halloween, Easter would be my favorite zombie-related holiday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
