Fruitcake is like semen, there's a lot of it about but no one wants to swallow it — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
You're going to set us all on fire, you homicidal feral fruitcake. — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
“It is amazing how the world can change, he thought, during the life span of a fruitcake.” — Robert M. Edsel Copy Share Image
Bring on the fruitcakes, we want a fruitcake for an unlovable seat. — Matthew Parris Copy Share Image
Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I mean UKIP, I mean it's just a sort of, you know, bunch of fruitcakes and loonies and closet racists, basically. — David Cameron Copy Share Image
We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers! We need people that care! I'm mad as hell! And I don't… — Jimmy Buffett Copy Share Image
“Wonderful. Gives a whole new meaning to flour power. You'll undoubtedly change the world, one fruitcake at a time.” — Kimberly Frost Copy Share Image
The joke may be that no one likes fruitcake, but if that were the case, they wouldn't appear on store shelves every… — Harley Pasternak Copy Share Image
Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know… — Len Goodman Copy Share Image
the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There's a reason they only serve fruitcake once a year, because it's awful. There's a reason they only serve mint julep's once… — Mike Leach Copy Share Image
Most people don't ever want to use a gun to protect themselves - that's the last thing they want to do -… — Murphy J. Foster, Jr Copy Share Image
Am I a fruitcake? I don't know. Perception is reality, so if I sit here and say, "I'm not a fruitcake, I'm… — Macy Gray Copy Share Image
Once upon a time there was a girl who discovered that if she played a certain tune on a jade flute, she… — Ursula Vernon Copy Share Image
“A sharp bolt of hunger hit Luther hard. His knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. For two weeks now his… — John Grisham Copy Share Image
I didn't believe in systems. Everything human was imperfect and ultimately absurd. What did I believe in then? In humor. In laughing… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
Friends are the fruitcake of life - some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet. — Jon Ronson Copy Share Image
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
My family, as you can probably guess, was more into Christmas cookies and not so much the fruitcake. — Christina Tosi Copy Share Image
Franchot Tone is nuttier than a fruitcake, so don't let the genteel frosting fool you. — Burgess Meredith Copy Share Image
Political advice is a bit like your average Christmas fruitcake: something everyone gives and no one wants. — Bob Dole Copy Share Image
Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface. — A. Lee Martinez Copy Share Image
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The best thing about flying first class…was that you could be as nutty as a fruitcake and were still treated like the… — Sarah-Kate Lynch Copy Share Image
As her skin sizzled under the delicious heat, she supposed she should’ve been giving serious thought to the lunacy of what she… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
I am not a morose person, but I would rather not be here. I don't have any reverence for life, only for… — Ingrid Newkirk Copy Share Image
Who likes fruitcake? I mean, really, giving you a fruitcake for a present is just another way of saying, I dislike you… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
