When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Its harly my dog A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Unless we put heart and soul into our labor we but brutify our actions. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
