Welcome to Facebook: Where hoes call out hoes when they should be calling out themselves, where people claim their real when really… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't even have Facebook anymore. I spend a fair amount of time on Twitter, though. — Sean Doolittle Copy Share Image
I'm always getting texts asking why I'm not responding on Instagram or Facebook, and I'm like, 'It's not me. You're writing to… — Travis Fimmel Copy Share Image
I can't do Twitter or Facebook, mostly because I feel like I'm the type of person who has to regiment the amount… — Bill Hader Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people isn't misinterpreted as a vow of silence. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is an awkward moment when your boss friends your girlfriend on facebook that = creep or creeping. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
We may not be able to change what we have done in the past..but we can change what will happen in the… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 5 it should default to 'Unstable.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, I use to close the refrigerator slowly to see the light turns off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Jesus was your friend on Facebook, would you have goneahead and posted what you did today? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
