Comedy Quotes · Page 369

Because to me, there is no logic of any kind behind misogyny. Therefore, it’s funny, because it’s so completely random to me.…

— Joss Whedon

There was a male sketch group in my college. I was like why isn't there a female sketch group? So then I…

— Missi Pyle

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all.…

— Tim Conway

When I started comedy, I would find myself daydreaming about coming home to play Bridgestone, but never really thinking it would happen.…

— Nate Bargatze

The holy grail for me is just stand-up - It's always been that. If I can just tour and headline in stand-up,…

— Chris Cubas

I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I'm the worst. I like physical comedy; it's where I feel comfortable.

— Malin Akerman

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

— Jon Stewart

I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value…

— Louis C. K

My uncle Shawn used to stay with us when we were really young, and I used to come downstairs and see him…

— Damon Wayans, Jr

You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up as the main…

— Billy Gardell

If you're in the writer's room, in any writer's room in the world, before you pitch a joke or suggest an idea,…

— Philip Rosenthal

When you are use to having complete control it is really hard to give up control of things to other people so…

— Rhod Gilbert

"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it…

— Jim Gaffigan

“Everything about the man spoke of virility--his quick reaction, his calm control now that danger had passed. And she'd never seen a…

— Stephanie Bond

I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for…

— Stephen Merchant

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I…

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.

— Gilda Radner

If I get off-guard with something, like something that isn't going the way someone wants it to go... those hit me pretty…

— Nate Bargatze

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be…

— Eminem

A lot of comedians want people to listen to them. I don't think we've ever been that bothered about whether people would…

— Bob Mortimer

I'm not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that's what makes my comedy different.

— Bernie Mac

I gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman's chair. Folks those are some huge…

— Stephen Colbert

I have admired Melissa Pritchard's writing for several years now for its wisdom, its humble elegance, and its earthy comedy.

— Rick Moody

Sometimes I am so dry that people don't know I'm kidding and think I'm being serious. I enjoy this because their reactions…

— Robert Crais

I think humor is like a shield that lets you get as close to the sad sad flame as possible - far…

— Alissa Nutting

I've always said, I thought the Sex Pistols was more Music Hall than anything else - because I think that really, more…

— John Lydon

I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room,…

— James Burrows

In standup, you don't have anything near you except a microphone. There's something a lot more self-conscious feeling when there's cameras coming…

— Tig Notaro

I don't aim it at anybody specific, I don't aim my characters to make old people laugh or young people or professionals…

— Jeff Dunham

Well I think comedy everywhere has lost a bit of its bite. In Canada, I can't argue with the quality, but it…

— Scott Thompson

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me.…

— Adam Sandler

You can tell when people think they're a little bit special, and it's quite fun to laugh at them, and I think…

— Hannah Murray

I'm a big fan of shock value humour and I find myself being most comfortable when I make other people uncomfortable. Is…

— Jason Biggs

It's so funny, all the similarities that we have [with David Copperfield] of being obsessed young people and finding a way to…

— Judd Apatow

You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and…

— Sarah Silverman

I'm a big movie fan, and I want to make movies in every genre. I want to make my romantic comedy one…

— James Wan

I think I have more fun making jokes online and making stupid Instagram videos than I do in my real life, on…

— Patti Harrison

The biggest killer to funny is hyper sensitivity to certain subject matter and Montreal is as guilty of that as L.A. or…

— Jim Norton

Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

“Naturally Teseo had a joke about all the government promises to increase housing construction: “If there were no future tense in Spanish,…

— Regina Anavy