I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah. — William Tecumseh Sherman Copy Share Image
Gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis, put my LP on your Christmas gift list. — Eminem Copy Share Image
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. — Oren Arnold Copy Share Image
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that? — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
It's my new single - please buy it so we can get Christmas gifts for the kids this year. — Stevie Wonder Copy Share Image
This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The perfect Christmas gift for a sportscaster, as all fans of sports clichés know, is a scoreless tie. — William Safire Copy Share Image
“It's like getting the best Christmas gift ever, but Santa decided to kick the crap out of you before you unwrapped it.” — Adrienne Martini Copy Share Image
I'm Jewish, so I don't really do Christmas gifts, and Hanukkah is not as big a deal as gifts are concerned, so… — Leandra Medine Copy Share Image
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. It is Christmas in the heart that puts… — William Thomas Ellis Copy Share Image
Not listening is probably the commonest unkindness of married life, and one that creates - more devastatingly than an eternity of forgotten… — Judith Viorst Copy Share Image
I had two cups of coffee, put Eric's jeans in the washer, read a romance for awhile, and studied my brand-new Word… — Charlaine Harris Copy Share Image
Christmas time, we can remember with deep thanksgiving the amazing Christmas gift of God Himself, when God sent his only begotten Son… — Henry M. Morris Copy Share Image
The great majority of people will go on observing forms that cannot be explained; they will keep Christmas Day with Christmas gifts… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
And thus was kept the first Christmas, the Christmas in the year one, with carols by the choir of heaven, and God's… — George Hodges (theologian Copy Share Image
I got this Christmas gift with the entire Beatles catalog. I had fun trying to duplicate what I was hearing on these… — M. Ward Copy Share Image
I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered,… — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
“Though unaware of it at that moment, Missie had just made some friends for life. Not one of those men sitting round… — Janette Oke Copy Share Image
“Farmer Ben called about an oak table Papa’s repairing for him. They got to talking, and Ben told Papa that the farm… — Stan Berenstain Copy Share Image
And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and… — Sigrid Undset Copy Share Image
“The desire and the effort to give to the Lord, born of the surrender of man to the plan of salvation, stamp… — John A. Widtsoe Copy Share Image
“Ugh. Would that Christmas could just be , without presents. It is just so stupid, everyone exhausting themselves, miserably haemorrhaging money on… — Helen Fielding Copy Share Image
“Autumn is always a time of Fear and Greed and Hoarding for the winter coming on. Debt collectors are active on old… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
“Janie ran to my side, where she tugged at the book eagerly as though she'd seen it before. "Flower book," she said,… — Sarah Jio Copy Share Image
“A Lake Charles-based artist, Sally was a progressive Democrat who in 2016 primary favored Bernie Sanders. Sally's very dear friend and worl-traveling… — Arlie Russell Hochschild Copy Share Image
“When the time comes, & I hope it comes soon, to bury this era of moral rot & the defiling of our… — Dan Rather Copy Share Image
A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
My earliest memory is of the best Christmas gift ever, a toy train. I remember riding that thing all through our house. — Coco Jones Copy Share Image
Christmas is here, Merry old Christmas, Gift-bearing Christmas, Day of grand memories, King of the year! — Washington Irving Copy Share Image
You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Fathers face and tell him you have received his… — John R Rice Copy Share Image
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have sex with you until Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
![“Ugh. Would that Christmas could just be , without presents. It is just so stupid, everyone exhausting themselves, miserably haemorrhaging money on pointless items nobody wants: no longer tokens of love but angst-ridden solutions to problems. [...] What is the point of entire nation rushing round…” quote by Helen Fielding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0a8/helen-fielding-2564_bad-mood_ugh-would-that-christmas-could-just-be-w_465712.jpg)
