Blow Jobs Quotes

Weddings are funerals for blow jobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.

— Anonymous

We weren't doing blow jobs when I was growing up.

— Judy Blume

Blow jobs are okay, but kissing clients is still a taboo.

— Annie Sprinkle

“Bonnie must give him organic blow jobs.”

— Liane Moriarty

“[while toasting] To blow jobs we want back”

— Meg Cabot

Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.

— Joe Rogan

If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.

— Anonymous

“In my world, the self-righteous are often the ones sneaking around getting blow jobs before they go home to the wives and…

— Nora Roberts

I think we made out [sexuality changing]. I think that's really great, and we didn't jump into intercourse. And there were no…

— Judy Blume

“I find blow jobs to be highly respectable. In fact, I can’t think of many things I respect more than your lips…

— Heather M. Orgeron

A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail.

— Nikhil Saluja

“In porn, men give blow jobs like they love men. Women give blow jobs like they love the camera.”

— Fierce Dolan

“Call me a prude but blow jobs should only be traded for blow jobs; and then only between consenting adults.”

— Marshall Thornton

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole…

— Chelsea Handler

I see a big ass recession coming soon... You may preserve your job for few more years but don´t panic, there will…

— JG

My mind leaps to my theory about presidents - that there are two kinds, ones who have a lot of sex and…

— A.M. Homes

“And what am I doing?” “You?” he eyed me appreciatively. “You’d just stand around and look pretty.” “And?” “Give me blow jobs.”…

— Karina Halle

“When I was called a feminist, during those days, my first thought was, But I willingly give blow jobs. I had it…

— Roxane Gay

“Aside from blow jobs, though, I'm through with being the perfect girlfriend, just through with it. Then if he's sore with me,…

— Sheila Heti

“With a soft gasp from Aaron, the soundtrack started up in Joey’s brain again. Goldfrapp’s “Ooh La La” was perfect for blow…

— K.A. Mitchell

In a recent survey into blow jobs, and why men like them so much 6% liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement…

— Azgraybebly Joslan

If this is something you'd truly like to work on, not out of a sense of guilt but because you would enjoy…

— Mallory Ortberg

“I'm thinking about fucking your mouth, to be exact.” “Of course you are,” she said drily. “You're a boy. Boys are delusional.”…

— Suzanne Wright

“For example, I might think, Shit, I'm skint. In roughly four and half seconds other thoughts will also have appeared in my…

— Lucy-Anne Holmes

On one hand, prostitutes don't struggle because it's simply their life. In Mexico and elsewhere, once they get out of these places…

— Michael Glawogger

“Sure, the guys in the pictures may have been lisping their ABCs while receiving their blow jobs, but here’s the thing: If…

— Anonymous

Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve…

— Lily Tomlin

“Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn’t pay the nannies that. It’s ridiculous. For ten…

— Jennifer Crusie

“I flash a fake smile of my own, refraining from telling her what I'm really thinking: that it's an unwise karmic move…

— Emily Giffin

“Damn Ani," he panted, as she licked him clean and then tucked him into his pants. "Where did you learn that?" "Adam."…

— Sydney Croft

If you type coughing into google images, it looks like a bunch of people giving blow jobs to an invisible man.

— Alla

Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

— Larry David

“Life ain't all blow jobs and ice cream. Sometimes it's a shit sandwich and a kick in the nuts.”

— Matt Cole

“I convinced Danny to give me in the shower last night. Blow jobs tonight. Or my name isn’t Rainstorm Christiansen. I”

— S.E. Harmon

I've given guys blow jobs just because I've run out of things to talk about.' Oh, Rae. Who hasn't

— Anne Lamott

“Hell if I know. That's for smart people like you to figure out. I'm just trying to get college guys to speed…

— Richelle Mead

“Men always do that to women when they feel threatened. They tell everybody the woman must be giving out blow jobs because…

— Jennifer Echols

My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if…

— Paul Merton

As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted…

— Mallory Ortberg