“neither wants nor needs are where we start; it begins with listening, making it about the other people, validating their emotions, and creating enough trust and safety for a real conversation to begin.” — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Every case is new. We must let what we know - our known knowns - guide us but not blind us to what we… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. They’ll usually give a longer answer… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started.… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“they should be teased out. Labeling is a helpful tactic in de-escalating angry confrontations, because it makes the person acknowledge their feelings rather than… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“List the worst things that the other party could say about you and say them before the other person can. Performing an accusation audit… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“There’s one powerful way to quiet the voice in your head and the voice in their head at the same time: treat two schizophrenics… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
