Negotiation Quote by Chris Voss
““Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's guard up. When you say 'I,' it says you're more interested in yourself than the other person, and it makes you take personal responsibility for the words that follow—and the offense they might cause.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: Negotiation Tactics with Chris Voss, 2021, Podcast
Using “I” makes listeners defensive; avoiding it keeps focus on the issue, not the speaker.
In simple terms: Saying “I” can trigger defensiveness.
Key Takeaway
Use neutral language to stay objective.
Themes
negotiation
psychology
communication
Mood
thoughtful
strategic
Type
advisory
practical
When to use this quote
- sales pitches
- conflict resolution
- team meetings
- customer service
Key Concepts
self-reference
defensiveness
responsibility
Questions to Reflect On
- When is personal pronoun appropriate?
- How does tone affect outcomes?
A Different Perspective
Some contexts require personal accountability.
