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““they should be teased out. Labeling is a helpful tactic in de-escalating angry confrontations, because it makes the person acknowledge their feelings rather than continuing to act out.””

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“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and…

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“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain…

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“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and…

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“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business…

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“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?…

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“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your…

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“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. They’ll usually give a longer answer…

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“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget…

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“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started.…

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“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's…

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“What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the…

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