I'm a huge NASCAR fan, but I'm not a gearhead. I've never been into fixing cars. It's not because I don't like… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've always felt that if you've been blessed, you should try to help as many people as you can. I just think… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Even before I did stand-up, I've always been the kind of guy - and I talk about it on stage - who… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
'Cars' has been a godsend. I mean, I get paid to talk into a mic. Honestly, I had no idea it would… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't even see it as cable TV anymore. I've been called 'Larry the Cable Guy' for so long, I don't even… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I was scared into being good. But I'm sure I did regular kid stuff. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to work. The… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
