This guy in L.A. asks for my autograph every time I see him. Then I find out he's eBaying 'em for $50.… — Julia Voth Copy Share Image
My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
So far as this argument is concerned nonhuman animals and infants and retarded humans are in the same category; and if we… — Peter Singer Copy Share Image
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Ask yourself this: If there was zero chance of failure, what would you do? Now, go do that. — Josh Linkner Copy Share Image
The guarantee that our self enjoys an intended relation to the outer world is most, if not all, we ask from religion.… — John Updike Copy Share Image
It is evil to justify killing (unborn babies) by the happy outcome of eternity for the one killed. This same justification could… — John Piper Copy Share Image
Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you are facing trouble right now, don't ask, "Why me?" Instead ask, "What do you want me to learn?" Then trust… — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
When people ask, Do you like children? I always say, I like some children, yes. Some children I don't like. — Isaac Mizrahi Copy Share Image
There are a large number of people who can and do manage to lead decent upright lives with no use for a… — Gordon Stein Copy Share Image
Put me up in front of a million people and ask me to speak. I'll flop. But put me behind my drums… — Travis Barker Copy Share Image
Modern technology has conveniently provided a measuring stick by which you can determine whether or not you are conducting your business in… — Wayne D. Dosick Copy Share Image
When deciding what to do next, we can always ask: Does this thought, emotion, or behavior bring me closer to or take… — Stephen Gilligan Copy Share Image
If your customers have to ask you for it, you haven't been thinking far enough ahead. — Ron Kaufman Copy Share Image
To speak practically and as a citizen, unlike those who call themselves no-government men, I ask for, not at once no government,… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
The Republican Party had a big day in yesterday's midterm elections and now controls the House and Senate. And don't ask me… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. — Joseph Addison Copy Share Image
Those who are concerned with the arts are often asked questions, not always sympathetic ones, about the use or value of what… — Northrop Frye Copy Share Image
I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance. — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
When people asked Socrates, ‘What is wisdom?’ he always gave the same answer: ‘I don’t know’. In fact, Socrates never claimed to… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
I will ask every government department to draw up a plan for civil service relocation outside London. And a Labour Treasury will… — Ed Balls Copy Share Image
