“Somebody once asked me where I come up with my stuff. I replied, "Who knows? Where does yellow snow come from? It's… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I replied, “With you, or in general?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I asked myself a question, but I wouldn’t answer, because it was too personal. I wish I had a clone, so he… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended if I asked you to stand back a few feet?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I met a man from Columbia who had a table for a back. I asked if it was a coffee table. He… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Orafoura once asked me how I became who I've become, and I replied, "I was born to become. And I became because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I did what I did for my clone, not for my own personal gain. It wasn’t right that he asked it of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
