Now I know why they call them pay stubs. My take home pay has been amputated. Thanks Obama. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
Olympic double amputee Oscar Pistorius was arrested and charged with killing his girlfriend today. It looks pretty cut and dried and he doesn't appear to have a leg to stand on. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
If I were a teacher, I wouldn't just test the student mind ... I would test the entire student body. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
I extend my condolences to those who have lost a loved one by saying, Good mourning. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She really let… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
My 3 favorite activities: 1. Drinking 2. Golf 3. Sex ~ I rely very heavily on my right hand for all three. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
My imaginary girlfriend's giving up sex for Lent. Palm Sunday's taking on a whole new meaning for me. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
If Obama had his way no one would win a football game. Each score would be distributed equally and everyone gets a trophy even… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
Im working on a pop-up book called, That Explains the Birds and the Bees. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
I like to play hide and seek with my inner child. And when I find him I beat him with a stick. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
Happy Valentine's Day. Hope you're spending the evening with someone special. Or at least with some one who doesn't stink. — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
I used to play Another One Bites The Dust after every conquest. But I'm old now so I'm changing it to Another One Bites… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
Did you notice all of the cops pulling people over and writing tickets in the freezing weather this morning? Neither did I ...... — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
