In her book Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion, Carol Tavris…
““In her book Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion, Carol Tavris recounts a story about a Bengali cobra that liked to bite passing villagers. One day a swami—a man who has achieved self-mastery—convinces the snake that biting is wrong. The cobra vows to stop immediately, and does. Before long, the village boys grow unafraid of the snake and start to abuse him. Battered and bloodied, the snake complains to the swami that this is what came of keeping his promise. “I told you not to bite,” said the swami, “but I did not tell you not to hiss.” “Many people, like the swami’s cobra, confuse the hiss with the bite,” writes Tavris.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
People often suppress harmful behavior without addressing underlying attitudes, leading to new problems.
In simple terms: Stopping a bad act isn’t enough; mindset matters.
Key Takeaway
Change both actions and underlying beliefs.
Themes
self‑control
behavior
mindset
consequences
Mood
reflective
cautious
insightful
Type
advice
psychological
cautionary
When to use this quote
- personal relationships
- workplace dynamics
- parenting
- conflict resolution
Key Concepts
psychology
behavioral change
self‑mastery
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you address the root attitude behind a behavior?
- What “hiss” might you be ignoring?
A Different Perspective
If the underlying attitude isn’t changed, new harmful behaviors may emerge.