I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our…

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths

— Mark Twain

One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

— Benjamin Franklin

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

— Anonymous

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

— Ogden Nash

“This was the second time I’d asked about his wife. I seemed to be speaking English, but perhaps my questions were really Swahili and…

— Laurell K. Hamilton

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I asked my wife to try anal sex. She said, 'Sure. You first.'

— Robert Schimmel

I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm…

— Rodney Dangerfield

“A man approaching retirement called the retirement office to inquire about his pension. Afterward, he was asked if his wife worked. “She’s worked all…

— Kelly Crawford

I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'

— Rodney Dangerfield

Surprise me! Yogi's reply when he was asked by his wife, Carmen, where he would like to be buried

— Yogi Berra

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".

— Rodney Dangerfield

“In her bedroom, a few weeks earlier in her life than had been predicted, she began to die. “Don’t look at me if my…

— Mary Robison

I turned vegetarian because my wife was one, and wanted me to convert.

— Rahul Dev

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

— Emo Philips