I've never sat down and written jokes. I wouldn't know how…

I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be…

— Drew Carey

If I hadn't been told I was garbage, I wouldn't have learned how to show people I'm talented. And if everyone had always laughed…

— Gabourey Sidibe

Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new…

— Chris Rock

I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.

— David Cross

“History doesn’t start with a tall building and a card with your name written on it, but jokes do. I think someone is taking…

— Nathan Reese Maher

When you're doing standup, it's just you. It's your written jokes. You perform it however your personality is.

— Tony Rock

I wouldn't know a good script if it bit me in the face.

— Tim Burton

Them other niggas just wanna hit it, but if they had it they wouldn't know what to do with it!

— Drake

I wouldn't know any other way to live except to be an artist. I'm not very good at anything else.

— Fred Tomaselli

“Your American, you wouldn't know if you were up yourself.”

— Peter Carey

“I'm making friends. You wouldn't know anything about that.”

— Donna Augustine

Films are all I know. I wouldn't know what to do with a day off.

— Ram Gopal Varma

I wouldn't know what to do with a big house.

— Redman

Wouldn't he know without being asked?' said Polly. 'I've no doubt he would,' said the Horse (still with his mouth full). 'But I've a…

— Anonymous

If you didn't have someone to hate, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself, would you?

— Natsuki Takaya