Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that…

“Come to that, don't pay out good money for horoscopes. If things are going to go badly for you, is that what you need…

— Hilary Mantel

It's surely no accident that there are horoscopes in Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Woman, New Woman, Elle and Cosmo ... but not Sports Illustrated, GQ,…

— Merrill Markoe

There is no better boat than a horoscope to help a man cross over the sea of life.

— Anonymous

I remember once, I read in a horoscope, because I'm an Aries, I read this terrible thing, which really affected me, which said, "You…

— Andy Serkis

For most of us, when our 'dreams' - I use the word with reservations - came true, and marriage and motherhood became a reality,…

— Mariella Frostrup

FREEDLEY: Will I feel better after I take it? DR. FITCH (coldly): I, am a physician, Freedley, not an astrologer. If you want a…

— S. J. Perelman

HOROSCOPE: Today is a good time for making new friends. A good deed may have unforeseen consequences. Don’t upset any druids. You will soon…

— Terry Pratchett

Yes, horoscopes still persist in popular newspapers, but they are there only for the severely scientifically challenged, or for entertainment; the idea that the…

— Robert J. Shiller

O natal star, thou producest twins of widely different character. [Lat., Geminos, horoscope, varo Producis genio.]

— Aulus Persius Flaccus

“What if the preacher or father’s saying ‘Someone here’s lost and hopeless’ was tantamount to those Sun-Times horoscopes that are specially designed to be…

— David Foster Wallace

There are two kinds of people in this world: 1)Those who don't believe in horoscopes 2)Morons

— Nikhil Saluja

The only chains God wants us to wear are the chains of righteousness--not the chains of hopeless subjectivism, not the shackles of risk-free living,…

— Kevin DeYoung

I believe in horoscopes. I was born under the sign of the Ram, which means I'm headstrong, don't like people telling me what to…

— Loretta Lynn

The total number of people who understand relativistic time, even after eighty years since the advent of special relativity, is still much smaller than…

— Yuval Ne'eman

It’s the way he had a cup of tea waiting for me when I woke up. It’s the way he turned on his laptop…

— Sophie Kinsella