Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. — P. J. O'Rourke Child Copy Share Image
Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another. — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
The Harvard Lampoon itself, which had a pretty stellar run in the '60s. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Only a few good leaders have paused to reflect seriously on being leaders. — P. J. O'Rourke Being Copy Share Image
Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too. — P. J. O'Rourke Couple Copy Share Image
Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead. — P. J. O'Rourke Children Copy Share Image
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. — P. J. O'Rourke Government Copy Share Image
A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. — P. J. O'Rourke Californians Copy Share Image
The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient… — P. J. O'Rourke Ancient Copy Share Image
Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We won't dispassionately investigate or rationally debate which drugs do what damage and whether or how much of that damage is the… — P. J. O'Rourke Damage Copy Share Image
Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet… — P. J. O'Rourke Corporations Copy Share Image
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The morning meal was served in traditional socialist fashion - very slowly, with the courses out of order so that the jelly… — P. J. O'Rourke Angry Copy Share Image
Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These… — P. J. O'Rourke Affluence Copy Share Image
I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say,… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life - this much… — P. J. O'Rourke Attention Copy Share Image
Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making… — P. J. O'Rourke Administration Copy Share Image
The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's usually this concrete-block,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
