There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. — P. J. O'Rourke Men Copy Share Image
The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. — P. J. O'Rourke Company Copy Share Image
Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks. — P. J. O'Rourke Alcohol Copy Share Image
There aren't many political humorists. Dave Barry is excellent, but he doesn't do it much. — P. J. O'Rourke Comedy Copy Share Image
All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle. — P. J. O'Rourke Altruism Copy Share Image
What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road. — P. J. O'Rourke Hazard Copy Share Image
The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's not a woman in the book, the plot hinges on unkindness to animals, and the black characters mostly drown by Chapter 29. — P. J. O'Rourke Animal Copy Share Image
When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A politician who commends himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that… — P. J. O'Rourke Caring Copy Share Image
Where self-interest is violently suppressed, it is replaced by a burdensome system of bureaucratic control which dries up the wellsprings of initiative… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less… — P. J. O'Rourke Amusing Copy Share Image
If libertarianism were easy to explain, and it weren't easy to exaggerate the effects of libertarianism, I think it would have been… — P. J. O'Rourke Agendas Copy Share Image
We're told cars are wasteful. Wasteful of what? Oil did a lot of good sitting in the ground for millions of years.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Summing it Up..."Where's a good place for dinner?" I asked. "There's the Brasserie Lipp on the Avenue St. Germaine," she said, "or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A pleasant natural environment is a good - a luxury good, philosophical good, a moral goody-good, a good time for all. Whatever,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Iraq's invasion of Kuwait is a case of bad men doing wrong things for wicked reasons. This is the full-sized or standard… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
It is important to remember when reading Adam Smith or even when just thinking about Smith that the era that he lived… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe it's understandable what a history of failures America's foreign policy has been. We are, after all, a country full of people… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. — P. J. O'Rourke Acceptance Copy Share Image
Civilization is an enormous improvement on the lack thereof. — P. J. O'Rourke Civilization Copy Share Image
The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college. — P. J. O'Rourke College Copy Share Image
I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
