The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix… — Ogden Nash Clever Copy Share Image
If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to… — Ogden Nash Assorted Copy Share Image
Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt… — Ogden Nash Dream Copy Share Image
And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends. — Ogden Nash Age Copy Share Image
“People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“A Caution to Everybody consider the Auk. Becoming extinct before because he forgot out to fly and could only walk. Consider Man,… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where… — Ogden Nash Human nature Copy Share Image
“Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even be defined, Because… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts. One… — Ogden Nash Art Copy Share Image
Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is… — Ogden Nash Authors Copy Share Image
Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed… — Ogden Nash Child Copy Share Image
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it. — Ogden Nash Funny Copy Share Image
When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when it seems Ive married one of Shakespeares… — Ogden Nash Love Copy Share Image
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy… — Ogden Nash Funny Copy Share Image
The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“Sure deck your lower limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance– Have you seen… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? — Ogden Nash Crime Copy Share Image
When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the… — Ogden Nash Joke Copy Share Image
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. — Ogden Nash Age Copy Share Image
“either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket,… — Ogden Nash Crime Copy Share Image
“When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash” — Ogden Nash Discipline Copy Share Image
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive. — Ogden Nash Child Copy Share Image
Miranda in Miranda's sight is old, gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naïve. — Ogden Nash Child Copy Share Image
I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face. — Ogden Nash Care Copy Share Image
One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it. — Ogden Nash Banker Copy Share Image
“Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends” — Ogden Nash Age Copy Share Image
Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses… — Ogden Nash Beer and wine Copy Share Image
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. — Ogden Nash Love Copy Share Image
The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
