Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Home is heaven and orgies are vile, But I like an orgy, once in a while. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
You can take it as understood, That your luck changes only if it's good. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at… — Ogden Nash Copy Share
The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder. — Ogden Nash Copy Share
“Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious that gold.… — Ogden Nash Copy Share
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips… — Ogden Nash Copy Share
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. — Ogden Nash Copy Share
“Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends” — Ogden Nash Copy Share
I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn… — Ogden Nash Copy Share
To maintain your marriage brimming, with really like in the wedding cup, anytime you are incorrect, admit it each time you're proper, shut up. — Ogden Nash Copy Share
“Which the Chicken and Which the Egg? He drinks because she scolds, he thinks; She thinks she scolds because he drinks; And nether will… — Ogden Nash Copy Share
“People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.” — Ogden Nash Copy Share
