A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created. — Mark Twain Good heart Copy Share Image
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous. — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn… — Mark Twain Approval Copy Share Image
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. — Mark Twain Books Copy Share Image
…try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard. — Mark Twain Food Copy Share Image
A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par. — Mark Twain Awe Copy Share Image
“Cave is a good word… The memory of a cave I used to know was always in my mind, with its lofty… — Mark Twain Cave Copy Share Image
“As usual, the fickle, unreasoning world took Muff Potter to its bosom and fondled him as lavishly as it had abused him… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I… — Mark Twain Edinburgh Copy Share Image
Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to… — Mark Twain Abundance Copy Share Image
Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle… — Mark Twain Argument Copy Share Image
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a… — Mark Twain Dream Copy Share Image
A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in… — Mark Twain Christian Copy Share Image
“Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human… — Mark Twain Artificial flowers Copy Share Image
“It made me shiver. And I about made up my mind to pray, and see if I couldn't try to quit being… — Mark Twain Psychology Copy Share Image
“But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie. We can tell them the moment… — Mark Twain Aunts and uncles Copy Share Image
“I don't blame anybody. I deserve it all. Let the cold world do its worst; one thing I know—there's a grave somewhere… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I hate to hear people say this Judge will vote so and so, because he is a Democrat -- and this one… — Mark Twain Constitution Copy Share Image
A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world becausehe is… — Mark Twain Failure Copy Share Image
“Mary Jane she set at the head of the table, with Susan alongside of her, and said how bad the biscuits was,… — Mark Twain Compliments Copy Share Image
“I can call back the solemn twilight and mystery of the deep woods, the earthy smells, the faint odors of the wild… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny — Mark Twain Arrogance Copy Share Image
Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. — Mark Twain Approval Copy Share Image
