“It really does suck having the attention span of a coconut-laden swallow” — Mark Tufo Attention span Copy Share Image
“Take heed your actions lest ye become like the enemy ye seek to destroy.” — Mark Tufo Enemy Copy Share Image
“I’d rather go out like the Bon Jovi song.” I looked at him questioningly then asked, “What? Livin’ on a Prayer?” “No,… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“Ah, what I’d do for a nuclear bomb.” “A nuclear what?” my wife asked. Her contortion of fear was clearly outlined. “Did… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“I guess zombies were a lot like stoners; neither did much in the way of action until food was involved. At least… — Mark Tufo Stoners Copy Share Image
“What the hell is going on?” My adrenaline was pumping. My pet peeves were throbbing—all seventeen of them.” — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“The weapons-of-mass-destruction-seeking team came back a couple of hours later with about as much luck finding anything, as the US had been… — Mark Tufo Mass destruction Copy Share Image
“I’d rather mate with a snake,” I told her, which was pretty low as far as dog swears went.” — Mark Tufo Snake Copy Share Image
“Apparently, one of your mates having his dick hacked off and set on fire was some pretty fucking funny stuff in hell.” — Mark Tufo Funny stuff Copy Share Image
“Grenades! Please tell me grenades!” I said, almost jumping up and down like a schoolgirl that found out the captain of the… — Mark Tufo Football team Copy Share Image
“Michael?” Eliza asked again. “What?” I said testily. “Oh. No, there are no surprises, our original agreement is in effect.” “You won’t… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“Why didn’t I listen to my drill instructor from boot camp? He told us flat out, ‘Don’t EVER volunteer for anything! If… — Mark Tufo Boot camp Copy Share Image
“Brian was shaking his head, walking around in small circles. He was mumbling to himself. “No guns! The world is caving in… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“You’re still concentrating, right?” BT asked to my retreating back. “Yes I’m still concentrating, Mrs. Weinstedder.” “What?” “Nothing, just my old algebra… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t believe this guy was still alive. A field mouse would most likely send him shrieking into the night. Bad example,… — Mark Tufo Bad example Copy Share Image
“I guess that makes me a hero,” Mike said. Paul knew he was kidding; but kidding or not, it was the truth.… — Mark Tufo Truth Copy Share Image
“Tommy might be a boy in outer appearance but he was 500 years my senior and significantly more powerful than me. "We"… — Mark Tufo Outer appearance Copy Share Image
“I do not want to die, Talbot,” a heaving-chested BT said to me as we watched the zombies chase after Gary. “You… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“What’s the matter with him?” Goth screamed at me. “Besides being married to you? I don’t have a clue,” I mumbled. She… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“I was in the midst of a very uneventful guard watch when I first heard the shuffling noise. It was so faint… — Mark Tufo Shadow Copy Share Image
“The bullet didn’t come out. I’ve got to go in and get it.” “Have you ever done that?” she asked, quickly thrusting… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“Ugh. That smell. It always conjures up hated memories of the stupid jar of pennies my father had kept on the window… — Mark Tufo Hot sun Copy Share Image
“Yeah, but Talbot, your missus -- she checked the name of the paranormal group you said you were leading, and there’s no… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“I heard your jokes, Doc, good thing there were breasts involved.” “I guess I always thought the cheers were for my witticisms.”… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“Shouldn’t we help them?” my wife asked as she pulled her head back into the car, already looking better now that she’d… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“I wanted to tell him that wasn’t normal for ninety-eight percent of the American population. Most of us would have been happy… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“BT came up to the rear of the truck. “Who made you boss?” his voice boomed. “You know what, BT?” I said… — Mark Tufo Boss Copy Share Image
“Oh, Talbot,” Tracy said, falling welcomingly into my arms. “What are we going to do with you?” she said, burying her face… — Mark Tufo Evil world Copy Share Image
“I’m going to make this slow, Talbot,” Durgan said while grinding his fist into his palm. “The slower the better,” I told… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“Close your mouth when you’re nodding, Talbot,” Tracy said, “You look like the village idiot.” — Mark Tufo Idiot Copy Share Image
“I have two pet peeves in life. Well shit, if I’m being honest I probably have about seventeen, but who’s counting? In” — Mark Tufo Life Copy Share Image
“I read this in a book about hauntings.” “I thought you said this wouldn’t be scary?” “It’s not really,” Gary said. “But… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“The walking dead weren’t in my back yard, but they were close. If they came through the gate now, this was going… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“The beauty of being this far east of Denver is that the landscape is much like Kansas: flat and unremarkable. We’d be… — Mark Tufo Beauty Copy Share Image
“Nice pistol,” Paul said as I was looking it over, trying to figure out the cocking mechanism, safety and every other moving… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“I grabbed some sani-wipes from Tracy and cleaned off my hands as best I could, and then drizzled whiskey over them. If… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
“We got some swords,” Brian said, putting three sharp-edged blades on the ground. “They any good?” I asked, picking one up. I’d… — Mark Tufo Copy Share Image
