Darynda Jones

“Never trust a man with a penis.”

— Darynda Jones

“So many dead people, so little time.”

— Darynda Jones

If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.

— Darynda Jones

“Hearts are wild creatures. That’s why our ribs are cages. —AUTHOR UNKNOWN”

— Darynda Jones

“Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.”

— Darynda Jones

“Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fired.”

— Darynda Jones

“I have a perfect body, it's in my trunk. T-shirt”

— Darynda Jones

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)

— Darynda Jones

“Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fired. —T-SHIRT”

— Darynda Jones

“You mess with the reaper, you get the scythe”

— Darynda Jones

I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it…

— Darynda Jones

“He let go of one gun and put his hand on my face as though it were a precious jewel. “Pumpkin.” Or…

— Darynda Jones

“While the goal of a book is to create a positive emotional experience for the reader, the goal of the opening is…

— Darynda Jones

“Sometimes I write “drink coffee” on my to-do list just to feel like I’ve accomplished something. —STATUS UPDATE”

— Darynda Jones

“You almost exploded. Which, thank goodness, you didn’t. You’d never have come out of Garrett’s carpet.”

— Darynda Jones

“I kept the coffee pot in my office on the pretense of monitoring Cookie's caffeine intake. Actually, it was my answer to…

— Darynda Jones

He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds.

— Darynda Jones

Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.

— Darynda Jones

“In that one, they'd done their darnedest to destroy Riley's Switch. This time, instead of two-by-fours and tire irons, they seemed a…

— Darynda Jones

His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided…

— Darynda Jones

Garrett must have sensed I was awake. "Hey Detective," he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward…

— Darynda Jones

“You would use your body to get what you want?" "In a heartbeat." He was hurt. I could feel it echo through…

— Darynda Jones

Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept…

— Darynda Jones

That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice.…

— Darynda Jones

“He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss,…

— Darynda Jones

I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I…

— Darynda Jones

Reyes, what happened?” He‘d been busy nibbling his way to my collarbone, his hot mouth evoking seismic activity at each point of…

— Darynda Jones

Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a…

— Darynda Jones

“You should go order a sweet roll. Those are to die for. And a carne adovada burrito." His mouth thinned. "Should I…

— Darynda Jones

I love language, words, and all the lovely, exciting, and heart wrenching things you can do with them. Pick the right ones,…

— Darynda Jones

“I at least need to know who you suspect. What if something happens to you between now and then?” “What could happen?”…

— Darynda Jones

“I walked stiffly past the worst hussy of them all: my former BFF, who'd apparently decided to move in. Jessica had been…

— Darynda Jones

“I almost forgot. It’s our anniversary.” “What?” I asked, bolting upright. “We’ve been married a year already?” “Not that anniversary.” “Oh, whew.…

— Darynda Jones

“Real writers write. Period. No, the muse does not come to visit everyday. She’s a lazy, precocious flirt. You cannot get into…

— Darynda Jones

In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.

— Darynda Jones

Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way…

— Darynda Jones

Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

— Darynda Jones

“My boyfriend called me a stalker. Well, he’s not actually my boyfriend …”

— Darynda Jones

“A girl, a mocha latte, and a naked dead man walk into a bar,”

— Darynda Jones

There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~

— Darynda Jones