“My worth depended on where exactly the decimal was placed among the zeroes.” — Augusten Burroughs Money Copy Share Image
If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight. — Augusten Burroughs Discipline Copy Share Image
My mistake was in underestimating the emotional force of a song you have already hear a thousand times. — Augusten Burroughs Emotional Copy Share Image
It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes. — Augusten Burroughs Cigarette Copy Share Image
“Speaking the words aloud so they would exist in the world and begin to become real.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life. — Augusten Burroughs Beautiful Copy Share Image
“Maybe one of my problems is I never depend upon the kindness of strangers.” — Augusten Burroughs Kindness Copy Share Image
“Unscripted, unedited, and wholly authentic people are almost universally admired, especially if they have flaws, are not afraid to make live, red-blooded… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a… — Augusten Burroughs Costco Copy Share Image
“Because all of us are made not only of what we have but what we lost. And loss is not a subtraction.… — Augusten Burroughs Experience Copy Share Image
“I could not imagine the kind of person that would, upon seeing a crazy talcum-powder-covered Southern lady think to herself, Hmmmm, she… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Not all gay men send me penis pictures. But no straight men do. And to date, no woman has sent me a… — Augusten Burroughs Gay men Copy Share Image
“I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention… — Augusten Burroughs Love Copy Share Image
Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“When I was ten years old, I realized I'd been kidnapped as a toddler. Of course, I would have to have been… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
The truth about not having everything you need, not being fully equipped or qualified or allowed is that these limits are the… — Augusten Burroughs Creative Copy Share Image
When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me."… — Augusten Burroughs Confidence Copy Share Image
“All improvements, transformations, achievements, liberations; everything you want to change about yourself and your life; everything you want to make happen, any… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Resentment is anger looking for payback. It's also a high-interest-earning emotion. Each new resentment is added to the ones from before. Long… — Augusten Burroughs Anger Copy Share Image
“In the middle of the conversation, I open a third ale. I cup my hand over the mouthpiece so they don't hear… — Augusten Burroughs Communication Copy Share Image
“Meetings are the Hail Marys of alcoholics. You can do or almost do anything, feel anything, commit any number of non-sober atrocities,… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholics Copy Share Image
The most important thing for a writer to do is to write. It really doesn't matter what you write as long as… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I had the same worry that we wouldn't later be able to undo whatever it was we were doing to ourselves.” — Augusten Burroughs Fear Copy Share Image
“He likes people because he likes to share in conversations. I like people when they have large checks for me.” — Augusten Burroughs Communication Copy Share Image
Marriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“How could something have no end, and if it had no end exactly where did it leave us?” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don't like smoking, don't even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“At that moment it would have been easier for me to spontaneously grasp quantum string theory” — Augusten Burroughs Physics Copy Share Image
“I discovered the bleeding when he licked my hand and left a swath of blood behind, death's autograph.” — Augusten Burroughs Death Copy Share Image
“We tried to everything right, now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“If i wasn't an accident mustn't I be a crushing disappointment?” — Augusten Burroughs Accident Copy Share Image
“Truth is accuracy. Without accuracy, you can't expect to manifest large, specific changes in your life.” — Augusten Burroughs Accuracy Copy Share Image
My brother was born without taste or the desire to be professionally lit. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to waste any of my brain cells on forgiving if it's holding me back. — Augusten Burroughs Brain Copy Share Image
“Give that mint Milano back, you bitch. If you can't at least be polite, you don't get a treat.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
When you have your health, you have everything. When you do not have your health, nothing else matters at all. — Augusten Burroughs Health Copy Share Image
