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When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really…

“When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me." That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.” quote by Augusten Burroughs
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“When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me." That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.”

Augusten Burroughs

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Seeking confidence often masks a need for external validation, which can lead to control‑seeking behavior.

In simple terms: Confidence is tied to others’ approval.

Key Takeaway

Build inner confidence, not reliance on approval.

Themes

self‑esteem validation control psychology

Mood

anxious hopeful

Type

self‑help philosophical

When to use this quote

  • workplace
  • social media
  • relationships
  • leadership

Key Concepts

self‑validation social influence

Questions to Reflect On

  • What would you do if no one approved?
  • How can you cultivate self‑validation?
A Different Perspective

External approval can be a useful motivator.

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