“Despite evidence to the contrary, I hated drinking to the point that I misplaced really big slabs of time.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
So we can be filled with holes and loss and wide expanses of unhealed geography - and we can also be excited… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Oh, I had a great time. My thirty-three-year-old boyfriend said he wished they could package my cum like ice cream so he… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“At that moment it would have been easier for me to spontaneously grasp quantum string theory” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“The events of the past cannot be fully understood when you are the only element of the past actively engaged in reliving… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
My mistake was in underestimating the emotional force of a song you have already hear a thousand times. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“It seems like maybe we tried to sleep normally a long time ago, when Bentley was a puppy. But then he gradually… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The past does not haunt us. We haunt the past. We allow our minds to focus in that direction. We open memories… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Time moves only forward, never back. We look forward to a moment and then it arrives and an instant later it is… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“The more time I spent at the Finches', the more I realized what a waste of my life this school crap was.… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life, not your past and not those around you.… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted with the notion of undergoing sexual reassignment surgery. Once again, I was ready for a… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Each time my mother went psychotic, I hoped it would be the last time. Afterward she would tell me, 'I think that… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“It may seem to you that your life is over now. Your future without the person you love is no future at… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The most valuable moments and experiences that life has to offer are found only along its most treacherous paths. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
What I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
“My worth depended on where exactly the decimal was placed among the zeroes.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
“Bookman isn't a stable man. He has a lot of problems that run very, very deep." But he was really good at giving head.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share
![“[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy canes, but people think heavy thoughts over the holidays because that's when you're thinking about family. Are we close? Or are we not as close as other people?” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/654/augusten-burroughs-603_about-family_christmas-holidays-are-a-heavy-heavy-tim_1602525.jpg)
