“To be more confident you need to give a whole lot less of a shit about that other people think of you.” — Augusten Burroughs Confidence Copy Share Image
“I wanted to shove her typewriter on the floor. I hated it and I hated her. I wanted to be a Cosby.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Part of me believes that love is more valuable when you have to work for it. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“All a rainbow is is light that walks behind a raindrop and its colors fall out.” — Augusten Burroughs Rainbow Copy Share Image
I don't believe in the concept of a soul mate. Because we are all unique, but we're also simply too similar. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Like somebody who was just happy because there was macaroni and cheese in the world.” — Augusten Burroughs Food Copy Share Image
“My brother had very specific likes and dislikes. Basically, he liked anything until it harmed him and then he was wary.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes. — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
“And as soon as I thought this, I tried to think of something else quickly. Because we were so close that I… — Augusten Burroughs Psychology Copy Share Image
“[My brother] shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased… — Augusten Burroughs Brother Copy Share Image
Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw… — Augusten Burroughs Being positive Copy Share Image
“I felt absolutely nothing. It was like a door quickly opened, showing me what horrible feelings I had inside, and then slammed… — Augusten Burroughs Feelings Copy Share Image
“The year I snuck an interracial lesbian couple into the background of an American Airlines commercial, I was feeling particularly flush.” — Augusten Burroughs American Airlines Copy Share Image
I never question the way I write. Writing is the only thing that's without seams for me. It's an effort to talk… — Augusten Burroughs Alive Copy Share Image
“After Olestra (may cause anal leakage), people are a tad suspicious about products that do things that are too good to be… — Augusten Burroughs Leakage Copy Share Image
I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day… — Augusten Burroughs America Copy Share Image
I've overcome a lot - sexual abuse, death of a loved one, bad parents and experienced life. My nature is such I… — Augusten Burroughs Abuse Copy Share Image
No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but… — Augusten Burroughs Books Copy Share Image
It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I… — Augusten Burroughs Efficiency Copy Share Image
“I had always had the oddest feeling, consider it knowledge, that if I were ever to find myself inside the cockpit of… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“It seems like maybe we tried to sleep normally a long time ago, when Bentley was a puppy. But then he gradually… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“In addition to calling each other standard names like bitch and whore, the Finches incorporated Freud's stages of psycho-sexual development into their… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Dennis's superior mental health was obvious from the first date, like a cleft palate. The other thing about him was that he… — Augusten Burroughs First date Copy Share Image
“If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all… — Augusten Burroughs Child Copy Share Image
“Unconditional love. That's what this is. I love him, as is, fully. I've had to stop arm wrestling with the facts. Why… — Augusten Burroughs Love Copy Share Image
Women smirk at baldness. How adorable would they find it if they began to lose their breasts in their late twenties? If… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“The calcium in your bones came from a star. We are all made from recycled bits and pieces of the universe. This… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“It turns out that (he) has a condition known as micropenis. This means his penis is less than three inches long, fully… — Augusten Burroughs Big dick Copy Share Image
![“[My brother] shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased me and I learned how to run.” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/ad9/augusten-burroughs-603_brother_my-brother-shaped-my-young-life-first-he_1244612.png)
![“No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but it's always nourishing, in a way. You recognize it. You can feel it. And even if [readers] think, "My god, I would never get in those situations," within those ridiculous…” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/eaf/augusten-burroughs-603_books_no-matter-what-i-ve-written-someone-some_2635472.jpg)
