If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You! — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Women are like plug sockets. You have to stick something into all three holes before they work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In major studio scripts, the girls are very similar. They're all witty and hot. I'm more of an oddball. — Riley Keough Copy Share Image
“Not obedience or feelings or respect, there is only one thing which people take seriously at all time and its "money".” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Quoting E. B. White is the easiest way I know of to fool people into thinking that I am perceptive, witty, and… — Peter Behrens Copy Share Image
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made… — Mae West Copy Share Image
If a guy tells you he's not ready for a relationship, it's ok to give him time. Just not any of yours...he's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you hate someone and you want to screw their life, introduce them to Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a Caution: slippery when wet sign I hide it somewhere, then I sit down & enjoy the show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. — Jackie Collins Copy Share Image
Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff. — Frank Crane Copy Share Image
A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wisdom is better than wit, and in the long run will certainly have the laugh on her side. — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are brave... when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm happy I didn't belong to generation when people used gun powder to grow guns. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
