President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh - meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?" — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
House Speaker John Boehner says President Obama should have clearly outlined his exact plans before bombing Libya. Apparently it's only Iraq where… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ...… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush earned $400,000 for his job as president last year. That's not really that much for being president when you think… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush got a little upset with a reporter for calling him 'sir' instead of 'Mr. President.' Man, how upset is he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said that American workers will need new skills to get the new jobs in the 21st century. Some of the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I guess we didn't even officially apologize. Jesse Jackson called on the United States to officially apologize to the Chinese. Jesse said,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He's concerned there are too many loopholes and too many… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Clinton and President Obama played a round of golf over the weekend. President Clinton asked Obama what his handicap was, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's President Bush's Father's Day gift to his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush admitted that the United States went to war in Iraq based on bad intelligence. But he says knowing what we… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
![“So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh - meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?"” quote by Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/cb8/jay-leno-210_america_so-china-s-president-hu-jintao-meets-uh_1600145.png)
![“Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how…” quote by Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/a25/jay-leno-210_al-gore_former-vice-president-al-gore-starring-i_558100.png)
