President Quotes by Conan O'Brien

President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not…

— Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.

— Conan O'Brien

Texas senator and tea party favorite Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He pledged to lead America boldly forward into the…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama answered questions on YouTube today. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. And that was just from Chad in Portland.

— Conan O'Brien

In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last…

— Conan O'Brien

Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate…

— Conan O'Brien

In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama filled out his March Madness bracket. You can tell Obama's mind is elsewhere because his top two picks were Israel…

— Conan O'Brien

Vanity Fair magazine reports that former President Clinton and Al Gore haven't spoken to each other since George W. Bush's inauguration. Not…

— Conan O'Brien

Today, former President Bill Clinton met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il and convinced him to release two American journalists that have…

— Conan O'Brien

Arnold Schwarzenegger is in some trouble. Today, the Los Angeles Times broke a story that quoted six women who claimed that Arnold…

— Conan O'Brien

Election officials say that in 2016, it may be possible to vote for the president on your smartphone. Can you imagine that?…

— Conan O'Brien

In the news, Chinese president Hu Jintao says that now that Barack Obama has been elected, he is looking forward to taking…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I…

— Conan O'Brien

People all over the world now are following our election. And according to a new international poll that just came out, I…

— Conan O'Brien

In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this…

— Conan O'Brien

NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew The Apprentice. So some good may come…

— Conan O'Brien

Fidel Castro declared that a robot would do a better job as president than Barack Obama. After hearing this, Mitt Romney thanked…

— Conan O'Brien

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference,…

— Conan O'Brien

People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms,…

— Conan O'Brien

Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama has appointed a transgender woman to a position in the Department of Commerce. You know, in this era of partisan…

— Conan O'Brien

People in China criticized President Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a…

— Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump called George W. Bush 'the worst president in the history of the United States.' Then he added, 'Until, of course,…

— Conan O'Brien

Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped…

— Conan O'Brien

According to the latest poll in the Washington Post, 63 percent of Americans said that so far they approve of President Bush.…

— Conan O'Brien

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only…

— Conan O'Brien

The White House admitted that Vice President Biden's endorsement of gay marriage forced him to come out in favor of it. So…

— Conan O'Brien

After Donald Trump's derogatory comments about immigrants, NBC has officially cancelled Celebrity Apprentice. Think about it: Donald Trump isn't even president yet,…

— Conan O'Brien

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq

— Conan O'Brien

First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don't worry, Vice President Biden…

— Conan O'Brien

Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets…

— Conan O'Brien

Lindsey Graham is now the seventh Republican running for president. If you're keeping score, that's basically one Republican candidate for every two…

— Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump is going to make an announcement about running for President on the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice. Not to be…

— Conan O'Brien

According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can'…

— Conan O'Brien

President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama…

— Conan O'Brien

Jeb Bush welcomed his fourth grandchild. The new Bush grandchild is happy, healthy, and will be running for president in 2048.

— Conan O'Brien

Today the Washington Post did an article; they compared the 2008 presidential election to the 1932 presidential election. They did a comparison,…

— Conan O'Brien