A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Enron's president, Ken Lay, passed away last week. So, I guess even God lost money on that Enron deal. I believe the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It was reported in the paper that President Bush received a 'warm reception' from the Daytona 500 drivers. Well sure, the drivers… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama's re-election campaign said that this year they'll knock on 150 percent more doors than they did in 2008. Well, of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The L.A. Times reports that al Qaeda terrorists have been traced to Iran, and President Bush is talking tough. In fact he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush spoke with the Amish. He didn't want to, but it was the only group he could find that wasn't upset… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So President Bush isn't losing… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday President Obama said, 'We can't continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.' Oh really - how come all those guys… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer if she is elected president. You know if she is… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Vice President Joe Biden said today that 'Syria must be held accountable.' Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney is predicting that as president, he will create 12 million jobs in his first term. Well, President Obama says a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Experts are saying that President Bush's goal now is to politically humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why don't we just make him the next… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are always criticizing President Obama for using the teleprompter. Is that a big deal? After eight years of George Bush, I'm… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Democrats say that President Bush doesn't have an exit strategy for Iraq. Of course he does. If things don't go well,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a governor who speaks German and a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Authorities in New York City have foiled a plot by terrorists to blow up the Holland Tunnel. There was one awkward moment… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The other night, President Bush's press conference was pre-empted by 'American Idol.' You know the difference between President Bush and 'American Idol?'… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, ''Phhh,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama wants Congress to increase the minimum wage. Believe me, when it comes to doing the minimum for their wage, Congress… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said that our kids must be taught how to read. He said if his aides never learned to read, they'd… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name:… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
