First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's never any… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
We're not actors, we're people behaving like ourselves on TV. We're both [me and Gordon Ramsay] exactly who we are on TV.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, people who choose to… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I like to just follow what I find compelling. In order for me to be compelling, I have to be compelled. I… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
“I've found that many of the people who have a passion for karaoke too often have misplaced confidence, which can become aggressive and border… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share
![“People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.” quote by Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/a96/chelsea-handler-887_care_people-who-have-experience-and-credentia_1757015.png)
![“We're not actors, we're people behaving like ourselves on TV. We're both [me and Gordon Ramsay] exactly who we are on TV. I don't think either one is an exaggerated version. You just have to be who you are.” quote by Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/32d/chelsea-handler-887_actor_we-re-not-actors-we-re-people-behaving-l_1219267.png)
