My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A despot doesn't fear eloquent writers preaching freedom- he fears a drunken poet who may crack a joke that will take hold. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's fat. I'm just saying if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know… She'd be… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your friend jokingly says something about you but it secretly true. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Open your eyes, close your mouth; See the flies, froze your laugh, cuz you now in dustbin — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your mama so fat, I took a picture with her last christmas and it's still printing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window Teacher : who just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Not to get all technical; but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, Wait, you forgot the remote! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The real reason women live longer than men bcoz they dont have to live with women. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being mature is when you finally grow enough, to be able to joke about the things that once broke you as a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your dick was as big as your mouth I might would have been impressed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been invited to a Halloween party tonight in America. To scare all the Yanks, I'm going as low-fat food! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 'Cause she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Think your little jokes'll help you on your deathbed?" she jeered. "Jokes? No,no, these are manners," replied Dumbledore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
