“Sure, if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke.” — Kiera Cass Copy Share Image
Every vision is a joke until the first man accomplishes it; once realized, it becomes commonplace. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What if the government built this thing? I doubt it. Why? Cause it works. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.' — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Your mama is so fat, Al Bundy had no time to make a fat joke when she entered the store — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Implying women are too weak to take a joke is *implicitlty* sexist, and ridiculous. — Lisa Kennedy Montgomery Copy Share Image
Guys joke with me that Milwaukee is one of the worst NBA cities, but I take pride in being from Milwaukee. — Kevon Looney Copy Share Image
Where I'm from, to do acting is not heard of. Being one of the lads and all, you don't just go, 'Oh,… — Barry Keoghan Copy Share Image
Always warm up the audience with a joke…If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that… — Jacob M. Appel Copy Share Image
I suppose there are times when I can't believe that I've lived the way that I have and done the things that… — Lauren Bacall Copy Share Image
Anytime I can get either of them really laughing, I immediately pull out a pad of paper write the joke down, regardless… — Anthony Marra Copy Share Image
Ever since I was 2 or 3, I loved to perform for people. I would walk up to another table in a… — Maxim Knight Copy Share Image
If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you're making so many observations, so many measurements. You might catch someone's eyes as you're telling a joke, and… — Sean Lock Copy Share Image
'A Death in the Gunj' is set in 1979 and we had to mute a joke that referred to Indira Gandhi. The… — Konkona Sen Sharma Copy Share Image
“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I was watching tennis on TV, and between games, they were showing a commercial for a tennis school. I wrote down the… — Ana Ivanovic Copy Share Image
Humor has the tendency to be funny once. If I tell you a joke, we're going to have a big laugh. But… — Marcel Wanders Copy Share Image
To me, my favorite joke on a stand-up special is when someone says something and you go, 'Oh my God, I've been… — Finneas Copy Share Image
I remember the old joke, while women are deciding which schools the kids go to, where you're going to live, how the… — Debra Winger Copy Share Image
The thing that I get so often with network comedies - and, I think, some of the most brilliant people in the… — Kenya Barris Copy Share Image
“The cat's asleep; I whisper "kitten" Till he stirs a little and begins to purr-- He doesn't wake. Today out on the… — Randall Jarrell Copy Share Image
So often, in my life, when you play a joke on another actor, you say, 'Hello? Steven Spielberg? It's for you.' What's… — Mark Rylance Copy Share Image
“Don’t joke with that friend who stood by you when everyone else ran off.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
It's called a joke. Just read it and laugh. Don't try to analyze it and take it literally. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“No one has ever honestly said, “I hate that this joke exists, even though it’s clearly hilarious.” It” — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I was raised in a family where no one had a serious bone in their body and every answer was a riddle,… — James Brolin Copy Share Image
Russell Crowe likes to tell jokes, which I can't. I can't remember a joke to save my life. I don't have a… — Rachel McAdams Copy Share Image
Call me Meier," Goring said, but he did not pause to explain the joke . — Philip Jose Farmer Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
“A character whose name is a joke cannot be taken seriously. (Page 188)” — M.B.B. Biskupski Copy Share Image
The bravest artists I've ever known have always been graf artists. Risking your life and your freedom is no joke. — El-P Copy Share Image
“The average adult hates being treated like a child, unless it suits them.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers. — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
If written with enough care and thoughtfulness, a joke can make you laugh at a belief you hold dear. — Paul F. Tompkins Copy Share Image
Never take someone's feelings as a joke. You never know how much that shit hurt! — Bismark Frimpong Copy Share Image
