Alexandra Petri

Awkward is a state of being.

— Alexandra Petri

In general, sincerity is awkward.

— Alexandra Petri

Obama isn't funny.

— Alexandra Petri

Millennials don't go to rallies.

— Alexandra Petri

No one has debates on Twitter.

— Alexandra Petri

MS Paint was my creative outlet for many years.

— Alexandra Petri

They will wrest 'dull words' from my cold dead hands.

— Alexandra Petri

It turns out that in order to think well, knowledge helps.

— Alexandra Petri

Journalists run many risks. It comes with the profession.

— Alexandra Petri

Almost nothing anyone told me about Harvard has been accurate.

— Alexandra Petri

Bad things happen, and you can only be so prepared.

— Alexandra Petri

As long as I'm writing stuff and people are reading it, I'll be happy.

— Alexandra Petri

All children, except two, grow up: Peter Pan and Donald Trump Jr.

— Alexandra Petri

The desire for attention has become a primal need along the lines of food, water, and clothing.

— Alexandra Petri

Forced to confront a reptile or an international financial crisis, I'll take the reptile every time.

— Alexandra Petri

My goal is to be weirder than everybody else and hope that no one stops me. So far, no one has.

— Alexandra Petri

It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.'

— Alexandra Petri

People talk to pass the time, share information, and entertain each other.

— Alexandra Petri

Books are wonderful. They are like people, except they mind less when you put them down and wander off to eat something.

— Alexandra Petri

At Harvard, people like to impart the idea that you are a mover and shaker.

— Alexandra Petri

All the young voters who flocked to Obama in droves grew up watching 'The Daily Show' and the 'Colbert Report.'

— Alexandra Petri

Worst case scenario, nothing I do has any value or purpose, but if I can make someone laugh, I'm at least as…

— Alexandra Petri

Serious beliefs are awkward, especially religious ones. It's not that there's anything wrong with them, it's just that people's real, heart-felt, deeply…

— Alexandra Petri

I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ragtag band of misfits. I wrote…

— Alexandra Petri

Millennials give comics the kind of adulation past generations reserved for musicians. We respect Lady Gaga. But we'll travel hundreds of miles…

— Alexandra Petri

Pleasure reading has long been an American ideal - generations of schoolchildren have headed home for the summer toting recreational reading lists.…

— Alexandra Petri

Life has its trade-offs. As you age, you lose things like teeth and the ability to play in the ball pit at…

— Alexandra Petri

George W. Bush has dutifully, if not intentionally, provided Americans with laughs for nearly a decade. He has also made them cry,…

— Alexandra Petri

How many stories do you know about people cooped up in places because of deep snowfall? How many stories where something good…

— Alexandra Petri

In high school, you at least have to get up at a reasonable hour and show up at places on time. College,…

— Alexandra Petri

You can be brilliant in some ways and despicable in others. You can be a clean, upright, moral individual in your private…

— Alexandra Petri

Everyone praises Harvard 'for the students.' But what makes Harvard's students so great is that they are, in many ways, a cross-section…

— Alexandra Petri

Thanks to postmodernism, we tend to see all facts as meaningless trivia, no one more vital than any other. Yet this disregard…

— Alexandra Petri

There is something about a mortarboard that gives otherwise sane and normal people the overwhelming urge to burden you with advice. Some…

— Alexandra Petri

No generation has escaped it - one morning, your skill with the eight-track or the record player or the cotton gin suddenly…

— Alexandra Petri

George Washington didn't have to make us laugh; he just had to establish precedents and avoid chopping down more cherry trees than…

— Alexandra Petri

I would say 'competence' actually might be slightly more important than passion. I understand that it is important to feel strongly about…

— Alexandra Petri

Hi, my name is Alexandra, and I'm a netaholic.

— Alexandra Petri

A picture can hide as much as it reveals.

— Alexandra Petri

Once you start worrying, it's hard to stop.

— Alexandra Petri