Alexandra Petri

In society at large, nerds are law-abiding, caring, fundamentally good folk who keep the wheels of civilization grinding.

— Alexandra Petri

As long as cantankerous old people have existed, they have complained that kids nowadays don't seem to know anything.

— Alexandra Petri

It is possible to assemble a narrative for yourself, brokenly, on social media, only seeing what you want to look at.

— Alexandra Petri

I think, when you're doing a column and blogging every day, you get familiar with the sound of your own voice.

— Alexandra Petri

Snow is like a manic pixie dream girl: fun and whimsical when you encounter it only through the barrier of a movie…

— Alexandra Petri

Success is like food caught in your teeth: much more noticeable when it happens to other people. If it happens to you,…

— Alexandra Petri

It's not that Millennials don't believe some things are serious. We'll make 'It Gets Better' videos or perform comedy for disaster relief.…

— Alexandra Petri

Any promising young white man rich enough to theoretically afford a giant oil painting of himself gets to remain young and innocent…

— Alexandra Petri

If you want to be famous because you do something well or badly, be it singing while fat or hitting balls of…

— Alexandra Petri

Although no one explicitly wants a president who could have a reliable fall back career in stand-up comedy, everyone shudders at the…

— Alexandra Petri

All the weird inconveniences of adult life that you thought they made up to lend excitement and color to episodes of 'Sex…

— Alexandra Petri

Every so often, when I am feeling plucky, I try to write a screenplay that combines all 10 of Americans' top phobias…

— Alexandra Petri

Ferguson shows the power of social media. This could have not been a story. Or it could have just been a local…

— Alexandra Petri

While MIT and the University of Chicago duke it out for the title of nerdiest school, James Franco and Renee Zellweger show…

— Alexandra Petri

All that time that we spend tweeting our thoughts and emotions to our next of kin, we could be writing the great…

— Alexandra Petri

At Harvard, where students tend to respond to real-world celebrities with the vague sense that they could do a better job themselves,…

— Alexandra Petri

People feel compelled to continue reading and hearing the news. Sometimes, you just want somebody to be yelling at it with you…

— Alexandra Petri

Wilde is an invaluable acquaintance. Often, in situations where I am required to appear witty, I simply steal large chunks from his…

— Alexandra Petri

Harvard is nerd rehab. You have to check yourself in. Those who seek a school filled with self-proclaimed 'nerds,' seek elsewhere. Dropping…

— Alexandra Petri

My first summer in college, I interned for Arena Stage in D.C. and taught a disastrous class on standup comedy to middle…

— Alexandra Petri