Joke Quotes · Page 24

Before you joke someone,make sure he's not in a bad mood.. If so,make sure your joke would not hurt him even more..

— Sachithra

Not all times jokes intended to make you laugh. Sometimes they intended to make you think.

— Anonymous

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

— Rita Rudner

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

— George Orwell

Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong.

— David Niven

I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are.

— Christa Miller

I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.

— Elayne Boosler

Michael Jackson was a joker to his core. He loved a good joke especially if it's displayed on somebody else.

— Siedah Garrett

“Here’s a statistician joke for your next hot date: Person A: What happens when Bill Gates walks into a bar of 55…

— Timothy Ferriss

“The only thing you could do was smile from the corner they’d backed you into. Implicate yourself in the joke even if…

— Emma Cline

“A cute girl, a pissed off Were-spider, and an occult boulnty hunter carrying a small arsenal walt into a bar... I bet…

— James R. Tuck

You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there's a good, honest, honorable reason…

— Carlos Mencia

It's become a running joke among the public, and liberals have lost all credibility when it comes to climate science because their…

— Sonny Perdue

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband…

— AB

I say it all the time: Texas high school football. It's no joke. It's a big deal. And when you get good…

— Baker Mayfield

People said, 'What are you talking about? She's so small. What are you doing? This is a joke.' We didn't have the…

— Sofia Kenin

I had one guy say, 'I watched your show and didn't agree with what you said.' And I'm like, 'It's a joke.…

— Carlos Mencia

It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to…

— Steven Wright

My brother was listening to his transistor radio. He kept switching the earpiece from one ear to the other, which I thought…

— Jane Lynch

Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank…

— John Mulaney

The joke about SAP has always been, it's making '50s German manufacturing methodology, implemented in 1960s software technology, delivered to 1970-style manufacturing…

— Marc Andreessen

I'm not making fun of it because I want to make fun of it. I'm making fun of it so I feel…

— Pete Davidson

There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to…

— Stanley Tucci

If I scored 10 goals I got 10 euros, which meant a lot of candy! It was a little bit like for…

— Timo Werner

I joke about it a lot, but I be serious as a heart attack when I say it: I don't wish that…

— Iman Shumpert

I love people who have a good sense of humor, tell a good story, tell a good joke.

— Jason Statham

“It does not mat­ter. The joke is we all have the same punch line.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

I was world champion, but I was never able to celebrate it. It was a joke for me.

— Caster Semenya

I thought Twitter was a joke. I really thought it was a gag. I thought it was like National Lampoon or the…

— Walter Becker

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

— Anonymous

Not laughing at a joke because you don't like the person who told it.

— Anonymous

If you joke about suicide, you insult those who are connected to someone who has taken their life. Grow up and be…

— Anonymous

If a joke makes our tribe laugh, we assume it will make other friend-tribes laugh.

— Jay Chandrasekhar

I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke.

— Mike O'Malley

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

— Wanda Sykes

Sometimes a joke that's not working is just as hilarious as one that does.

— Deon Cole

I go inside the Octagon for fight. I don't joke, because it's danger.

— Anderson Silva

“How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.”

— Garrison Keillor

On my adventurers into the porn world, I noticed there's one thing that doesn't exist. Asian men.

— Daniel Ellis

The critics had an image of me, and they wouldn't accept any other.. I was a cartoon character. A joke.

— Ann-Margret