The joke isn't too soon, the tragedy is too late. — John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic Copy Share Image
I make a joke that I'm the Internet curmudgeon, but 'wary' is a good way to put it. — Bill Keller Copy Share Image
We joke a lot about how, in Hollywood, the writer is one step below the doormat. That's not self-loathing. That's true! — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs. — Langston Hughes Copy Share Image
What I love is getting a new joke, or a premise like a sketch idea or a movie idea. That's the best… — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
“He got the deviant joke loud and clear, the one about the biggest head case craving the taste of a psychiatrist. The… — V. Theia Copy Share Image
Sex is God's joke on the human race ... if we didn't have sex to make us ridiculous, She would have had… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
“I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me” — Randy Kagan Copy Share Image
As a kid, I drew comics. I had curly hair. I liked to joke, but I was kind of nervous about it… — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image
Here goes a joke: Mom Sh**,wat r u sayin boay,Sh** mom,the Sh**,i tried 2 wake up ma sista with a fart but… — Harvey Mcfield Copy Share Image
It's funny you can pretty much substitute the same actors in that top tier, whether it's a Chris Evans or a Chris… — Tamlyn Tomita Copy Share Image
People who would never think of dealing in racial or sexual stereotypes will still throw in a fat joke because it's still… — Al Roker Copy Share Image
If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Often, when you're in some of these writing rooms for... and the most restrictive is network television, right? They say, 'Wow, that's… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
I always make a joke about this but it's true; Conor can make a highlight video of training hard and like, 'Alright… — Beneil Dariush Copy Share Image
“I don’t like seeing you hit.” “Well, to be quite honest, I don’t like being hit unless it’s by you.” As soon… — Tammy Blackwell Copy Share Image
I'm not making fun of it because I want to make fun of it. I'm making fun of it so I feel… — Pete Davidson Copy Share Image
There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to… — Stanley Tucci Copy Share Image
If I scored 10 goals I got 10 euros, which meant a lot of candy! It was a little bit like for… — Timo Werner Copy Share Image
Every comic will tell you that a lot of crowds play differently to different social commentary. Some people are really uptight about… — Andrew Santino Copy Share Image
Howard Stern gave me the best advice about Twitter and the N word. He said maybe onstage people get the intention behind… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
