I can tell how honest a joke is or how true a joke is by how fast the laughs come. — Michael Che Copy Share Image
Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves. — Matt Haig Copy Share Image
In television, there are so many things between you making a joke and the audience seeing it. It's like an assault course. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“many chimneys does Santa go down? A: Stacks! What was your favorite joke? Leave” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.” — Kasey Collin P. Dumdum Copy Share Image
“And you think, “I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome. He wouldn’t care about my sales sheet. He would… — Jon Acuff Copy Share Image
I've had times where I've joked, like, 'I'm going to move to Vermont and become a painter.' And sometimes that joke felt… — Kate Micucci Copy Share Image
In fact during 'Rock On,' there were so many women on set that sometimes we used to joke that if this becomes… — Prachi Desai Copy Share Image
I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room,… — James Burrows Copy Share Image
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a civil engineer. No joke. I would come home from school and… — Bitsie Tulloch Copy Share Image
Written by the ancient Chinese philosopher of the same name, the 'Zhuangzi' is one long perplexing puzzle of a rambling collection of… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
“Naturally Teseo had a joke about all the government promises to increase housing construction: “If there were no future tense in Spanish,… — Regina Anavy Copy Share Image
I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something… — Johnny Depp Copy Share Image
We always joke about how I'm on the road and they'll be like, 'Man, you need to take a shower.' Nah, it… — Paul Wall Copy Share Image
We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' - a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety.… — Carol Vorderman Copy Share Image
“He felt as if he had told a joke and they had missed the punchline and were leaning to him, wating for… — Peter S. Beagle Copy Share Image
“No, no one thought that a spontaneous gang rape was going to take place just then on the stage of the Laugh… — Lindy West Copy Share Image
“Got something!" one of the men yelled. "Is it Mike?" another called, rushing from our sides. As everyone converged on the scene,… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
“There was once a man named Joe... Joe was insecure because he had no ears. Joe couldn’t hear a goddamn peep. And… — David Michael Miller Copy Share Image
