Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: you are the most funniest and beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: you just want to fuck me. Boy: wow.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pick up a phone call and wish you didn't because the caller's asking for something you don't… — Saramae Copy Share Image
You claim to be a bad bitch, yet you have no car, no house, and no job. You're not a bad bitch,… — SandraB Copy Share Image
Why do porn sites have a Share To Facebook button??? Who watches porn and thinks, You kno who would really enjoy this????… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when your phone goes off, when yournot suppose to have it on, or with you at all. — Syoung Copy Share Image
Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love Justin Bieber Well, I love McDonalds but you don't see me making an account pretending to be a fucking chicken… — Maicy Rasmus Copy Share Image
The other day a girl wearing a shirt that says I'm just waiting for a better day so I Smooched her &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket…so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When teaching your foreign girlfriend the english alphabet,its only fair you start by giving her the d — Chad Houston Copy Share Image
Charging your phone 5 minutes before you leave, because you think it will make a difference. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Weekends are like an orgasm: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time ._. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A female saying that she doesn't like attention is like a guy saying he doesn't like getting blowjobs. -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance. Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair. Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage. Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Woman say:WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY. Woman means:I'm not going to stay over until I find out if this guy at the gym… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why did Susan fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susan. — Deezy Da Dreadhead Copy Share Image
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer… — Danish Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I talks broken English , writes grammatically wrong English . Who cares ? I'm proud to be Malaysian since forever ! — TheTowraMowra Copy Share Image
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Dear Algebra stop trying to get us to find your x shes never coming back. And don't even think about asking y. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
Im not saying I hate you. Im just saying if you got his by a bus, I would be driving that bus.:) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for… — F Abahusain Copy Share Image
I think if steroids are illegal for athletes why aint photoshop illegal for sum dez ratchet bitches on Facebook...IG & Twitter — IG:caonte_2_funny Copy Share Image
Hurricanes are like women. When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house and car — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! — Serenity Karma Copy Share Image
