Forgiveness.. It Is The Wonderful Smell That A Flower Gives., When its Being Crushed..!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never masturbate to a fantasy involving anyone you might actually have to interact with. Trust me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I swear McDonald's ads be making stuff look good af' but once you get something in person you'll be like What the… — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
Did you know: Within 5 minutes of waking up, 50% of your dream is forgotten and within 10 minutes, 90% of your dream will be gone. — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
Sometimes you stop talking to someone because you keep telling yourself that if they wanted to talk to you, they would. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was a kid during the height of the Cold War. If I did something wrong, my parents just accused me of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on… — Michael Lazarus Copy Share Image
Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it screwed you. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook should have some kind of limit on the number of times that people can change their relationship statuses. After five or… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
I've never felt this way about anyone before. - Every girl, literally every time they like a guy — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony…the rattle snake died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that saves people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ghetto people always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford; Mercedes, Bentley, Pearl, Child support. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My Friend dumped his GF last night. To make her feel better, I gave her company in her shower today & BITCH… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and Im still at work — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be change ... after 3 times it should be… — Ronak Gurung Copy Share Image
There are some people who can't sleep because they have insomnia, I'm one of those people who can't sleep because they have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My friends ask me why I'm so serious, all I said Bitch, I just got surgery. If I laugh it'll hurt. All… — CJ Copy Share Image
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything… — Aicel Copy Share Image
Call Of Duty will really have a guy thinking about joining the army...then you realize how many times you died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exams should be given on either Facebook or on phone instead of sheets, ccuz today's students have more typing speed than writing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this how did you get in my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
