Lmaooo You Got BIGGG Boobs & NO Butt. . . . . You Look Like The Letter P — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Officer to drunk boy : How high are you? Drunk Boy: No officer, its Hi! How are you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A penis has a sad life: His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy,… — Myself Copy Share Image
I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
It's so important to wake up and immediately start starring shit. Stupid Twitter ruined my poo time! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at work just to use it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I ask my mom how to spell something and she sais look it up in the dictionary. I would… — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for 4 — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dont give a flying fish what the teacher says JESUS is always the answer... — Some Genius Copy Share Image
Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't you hate when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything? — Nishan Singh Copy Share Image
The 3 biggest lies : I love you. I'm fine. Sorry, that was my last piece of gum. — Desteni Clay Copy Share Image
You u need in this world is love...and a little chocolate now and than wont hurt. — Lula Starr Copy Share Image
U see that there on the floor? Thats the taste she done slapped out ur mouth lol — Brittney Copy Share Image
That mini heart attack moment when you don't feel your phone in your pocket. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't get how you can have so much money to shop every day, but you dress ugly. — Kevin Copy Share Image
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I mention someone, get no replyback, and I'm left feeling like an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment where your iPhone talks to you way more than your girlfriend. — Chad Robinson Copy Share Image
A wife is just an attachment men screw on the bed to get the housework done. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkard laugh when no sound comes out and your clapping like a retarted seal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
