Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wondering why logging onto Face book has become part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! — Serenity Karma Copy Share Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If they ever made another remake of Joan of Arc, they should use Alicia Keys' song This Girl Is On Fire. — Laura S Copy Share Image
I told my daughter that she can't have boyfriend till her age is off the clock. *puts military clock on wall* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment when you're feeding a baby and you open up your mouth every time you give it a bite because you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We should watch a movie. And by 'watch a movie' I mean we should fuck each other senseless while a movie plays… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How much cocaine does Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men... — Caitlin Bower Copy Share Image
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror. — Harriet Morgan Copy Share Image
I make weird faces in photos because its better to look ugly on purpose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said, I hate it when you finish my sentences. So I said, Period. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let him open your mind before he opens your Legs. The bond usually lasts longer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
